For many years I had trouble in school, this wasn’t based on the fact that I was over weight but that lack of self-esteem did play a big role in my success. It wasn’t until 10th grade that my grade point average began to improve, that’s because I was lucky enough to finally get myself into a program where I worked with an Innovative Tutor to get the ball rolling. I lacked confidence and this lack of confidence effected not only my grades but just how I felt about myself in general. I strongly believe that if it weren’t for Mr. Buel that I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today. He taught me a valuable lesson in how confidence can and will play a huge role in my performance. He let me into the worlds of Math and Science so that I would no longer dread them, but accept them as they are and work with them instead of against them. I always did excel in English and Social Studies because it was all based on fact or just plain reading. Science and Math both required you to think about formulas, processes and anything else they could possibly have in store for you.

Some would say that Math and Science are connected based on similarity. It works the same way with English and Social Studies. Oddly enough, those doing very well in English and Social Studies would more than likely not do so well in Math and Science, and naturally this worked in the opposite way as well. Thanks to Mr. Buel, however, I was able to excel in all four subjects once he taught me how to accept the courses and not ask so many questions. If it weren’t for him, I probably wouldn’t have had the confidence to go back to school after my life went back to normal just so I could complete what I started.

Last night I was feeling rather sluggish but this is based on my new schedule which has me a tad bit depressed. I go to sleep just as the sun is beginning to rise and by the time I wake up there’s only a few hours left of daylight and I love the sun so that has me down. The thing is, by the time I get up the sun is around the front of the house which makes it seem much warmer than it actually is. While I enjoy the sunlight, I don’t so much like the heat that comes with it in the summer.

I barbecued but no one was really actually hungry when I did. I was just in the state of mind to get it done and walk away from it. I also created a website for Karen because she’d like to get herself into the blogging world. She’s always floating around Sean site, as well as my own, so I threw something together and hopefully she does well with it, I’m going to have to teach her how to use Wordpress but just having her own domain name has perked her up a bit, and her being giddy about something is always amusing to watch.

The next few days are basically going to be cleaning days for us, Sean more than likely won’t help us out but either way things will be done. Vacuuming is desperately needed throughout most of the house, counter tops need to be cleaned off and organized, the tables could use a scrubbing with some windex. I’d like to clean the windows as well considering all the junk that’s building up on them - I’m unsure as to when they’ve actually been cleaned since Sean and Karen moved into this place. So far we’ve got some carpet refresher soaking on the rug because all of the urine spots thanks to the two dogs who are supposed to be wee-wee trained are really getting to our heads, we’re talking straight ammonia. Thankfully Bella does all of her business outside, which makes for a very happy me. Of course when she was first starting out she had an accident here and there, but now that she knows outside is the only place to go then it makes life just a little easier - less to clean and pooping on grass is free, wee-wee pads aren’t. I know that when I’ve got my own house I’m just going to stick with hard-wood floors this way it’s even easier clean-up in case of an accident…Sean and I do plan on getting another dog in the future.

So while Karen is vacuuming I’m getting some work done and I guess this is considered my ‘break time’ so I can just vent a little bit - it’s been a while since I’ve really done it.

I’m still running on about two hours of sleep at the moment. I’m going to push myself so that I can stay up until about 11 at the absolute latest, from there I’m going to be crashing and hope I wake up sometime around 8am tomorrow morning. From there I can get some serious work done and hopefully get myself back on the schedule I’d prefer to have.

Sean prefers to stay up for the night claiming that it’s easier for him to work because there aren’t any distractions. However, right now he’s got the TV blasting because he can’t hear it and he also just woke up from a 5 hour nap. At least he got some kind of sleep in the last 24 hours. I’ve only managed about 2 hours - at the absolute most and I feel miserable. If I could get myself back on a NORMAL schedule then I wouldn’t have to worry about forcing myself to sleep at night if I need to be up early in the morning.

I think, with this change, I’m going to start doing some more work from my laptop instead of my desktop. Even with Princess barking her face off in excess, it’s quieter in the living room than it is in this office at the moment. I don’t know if his ears are clogged or what but this is absurd. I’m tempted to drag him to a doctor to have them cleaned out properly. He claims that his ears hurt when he uses a Q-Tip, have a doctor clear that right up with a few drops and maybe that’ll make things a little quieter around here.

I don’t mean to be badmouthing him. I guess I’m just agitated right now. I’m basically done for the night, minus a few things here and there…I may just go to bed earlier at this rate.

Cross posted from krissy.nu

For quite some time now Sean and I have been looking into buying a house. A lot goes into this process and it’s to the point now where we’re considering going through a mortgage company. Naturally we’re going to look towards a broker in the Delaware and Maryland areas because this is where we honestly would like to live the most. I haven’t spent much time in Maryland but the time I have spent there hasn’t been half bad. Granted, I’ve only traveled outside of Ocean City maybe once or twice but when I did travel outside of it, gosh it was pretty. I don’t know much about the state though…can anyone recommend a decent area? I’m trying to avoid getting anywhere near Washington, D.C. though - fair warning. We couldn’t afford pricing like that either way.

Sean and I wound up going out to lunch after all. Originally I wanted to stay in because I know he hasn’t slept much in the last 24 hours, he literally just crashed about 20 minutes ago and that was around his 25th hour of being awake. I told him repeatedly that he should just go to sleep but he’s a stubborn man and wound up staying awake anyway.

I did well at lunch. I had a grilled chicken salad and left most of the chicken behind (I’ve been eating chicken almost every night for the last few weeks) I had just a light oil and vinegar based dressing, barely even tasting it for that matter. I requested lemon juice but unfortunately they didn’t have it. I’m still doing damn good with portion control, I left about half of the salad on the plate. The waitress had no idea that I was even done, she kind of avoided the table until we called her over.

I’ve moved myself back to the laptop for a little while, unfortunately I’m no longer used to typing on such small keys now that my desktop has kind of turned into my primary computer. No big deal though, everything seems to be working out just fine. It’s rather warm in the house so I don’t know if it was a good idea to boot this up or not considering it kicks out a lot of heat, even when it’s not plugged in. I haven’t booted this thing in almost three weeks and there’s still over 75% battery life left to it - guess that counts for something.

But since my wrist is locking up from the smaller keys, guess I should shift myself back to the desktop and get some design work done…heh.