The past couple of days have been absolutely gorgeous. Since Wednesday we’ve averaged around 75° and for me that has to be the best weather in the world.  I typically like things to be chilly, I’m someone who likes to bundle up so going over 85° is very uncomfortable for me - as it is for many people.  Around here when it’s in the 70’s, everyone is outside.  I’ve spent the last few days working on my base tan while I do some gardening.  I’m just itching to redo the garden with fresh flowers and a nice new border so I can separate the icky sod from the dirt hole that we call a garden (at the moment).  I did some planting last year but I made the mistake of placing seeds into sandy soil so it really didn’t work out too well.  When things finally did start to grow in, it was chopped down by the landscapers.  They can easily avoid the grass (which they’re being paid to cut by the way) but they can easily run down someone’s flowers without a care in the world.  Either way it will be corrected and sectioned off within the next couple of weeks and I can’t wait for it.

While I didn’t hear back from a company I interviewed with this past month, I have been accepted as a new out-sourcer for a web design company located in New Jersey.  I’ve already completed a project or two and they look really promising.  It’s my hope to be able to bring in enough money so I can stay on top of my bills.  I haven’t been slacking off on work but I haven’t been able to get much on my own either.  I need to bring in $1800 a month in order to cover my bills and I’ve been pretty short for the past couple of months, Sean has graciously been picking up the slack for me.  I hope to be able to get back to the point where I’m working solid 8 hour days again.  It sucks having a small project here and there to complete, is it so wrong that I’d kill for a 9-5?  I’ve applied at every single business in the area, both retail and desk jobs and I haven’t gotten a call back on any of them.  It’s a shock to me considering every business is hiring for summer positions.  I’ll even take something part-time as long as it doesn’t require having to lift anything more than 50 pounds.  While my health has been improving with my on-going weight loss, a bad back is a bad back no matter what weight you are.  I’ve removed over 50 pounds from my frame and I’m still unable to lift anything over 30 pounds without feeling a painful twinge in my back.  This is the reason I only bring minimal weight-training in with my daily routines.

I’m fine running, walking, spinning, and swimming.  I typically have 5 pound weights on my arms or legs when I’m jogging (for that extra push) and I try as hard as I can to stretch myself whenever I get the chance (typically after a work out) just so I can regain some strength in my back but it’s just not there.  A few have told me that a visit to the doctor to find out if I have a slipped disk or not would do the trick but when you have no medical insurance, and are unable to afford it - there’s really nothing that can be done.  This is another reason why I’ve been so persistant on getting the job with the company I interviewed for.  They offer up a pretty amazing benefits package and I’d kill to get myself into a doctors office.

Sean has been poking around the Internet in hopes to find out some more information about Medicare.  I just don’t think I’d like to have to depend on the Government to get by.  I know I pay my taxes so that everyone else can get a free ride but at the same time I think PRIDE has a lot to do with it.  Yes, I’d love to be covered by Medicare and Food Stamps - I put out a lot of money every month on healthy foods to maintain my diet - BUT, I’m perfectly capable of getting a job - I’m just unable to be accepted for one (for some god forsaken reason).  It’s the same story, every single time.  “You interviewed very well, we’ve just taken a different route”.  Now, in terms of Web Design work, that means “We found someone with a degree”.  When it comes to Retail that means “We found someone who’ll work for less than minimum wage and not bitch about it - ie: immigrant”.  I don’t mean Mexican, there’s an over-abundance of Russians in the area and they all work 3-4 jobs for a few months while they’re here for college and head back to Russia to take their few thousand dollars and be able to go through the rest of their year until they repeat the process down here.

It’s extremely frustrating to watch my bank account dwindle and my application pile reach the ceiling with “rejected” stamps on them. I keep meticulous records of just about every aspect of my life so if I apply somewhere I tend to keep a copy of the application and mark it down on a list so I know where I applied and their reason for rejection.  The reasons of “taking a different route” is the running theme.

I know that I need to go back to school and I desperately need a car of my own (Sean’s is about to kick the bucket and we’ve been sharing it due to my lack of a car).  It’s impossible for me to complete this process if I can’t find a job.  I’ve purchased a book on grant writing “The Everything Grant Writing Book” and I’m going to take some personal time to setup a work area (on any clean surface in the house) so I can start writing up a formal grant application to submit to different companies.  I’m going for anything that will help me, a federal grant, a state grant or even a corporate grant.  It’s going to be put towards my business.  Not only will it enroll me in school to further-advance me in my trade but it will also be used to push advertising and maybe purchase a new computer so I’m able to work more efficiently.  I love the iMac Sean gave me for Christmas, don’t get me wrong, but I also need silence when I’m trying to concentrate and that’s something I can’t get when I’m working in the same office as Sean (we share one).  Having a laptop is a god-send for me, and while I’m just looking to pick up a cheap $800 model that is Intel based (so I can install Mac OS X on it), it’s still $800 that I don’t have.

It’s a whole serious of financial issues right now and I really wish I could figure out what to do.

I finally got around to updating to Wordpress 2.5.  I was hesistant at first because I’m using it on a few of my other domains and I really don’t like it very much at all.  But since there are a lot of security fixes with it, I figured it was worth putting in the effort so I logged into my control panel and went through with the automatic upgrade.  While I was initially against using Fantastico on my servers, I’m kind of happy that it’s there now.  It takes a lot of stress off me for having to do manual upgrades for clients.  I can point them into the direction of their control panel and the rest is history.

I went out tonight to just have some alone time.  I wondered into Dollar Tree and landed some great deals on some items I use regularly.  I picked up a few boxes of tissues (2 for $1) and I loaded up on some carpet fresh too.  I also am in a decorating mood so I bought to small mirrors to hang up above the bed, I’m going to throw a picture up in between them and that will add some visual interest to the room.  The walls are so bland right now, it’s just a blue-grey wall color that’s got quite a few holes because the room I’m in used to be Sean’s office.  So when he took the shelves out of there he kind of just left the holes.  One of these days I’m going to get in there and fill in the holes, throw some paint over the spackle and then hang a few things up.  The rest is history really.  It’ll give me something to do, that always counts for something - right?

I’m still doing pretty well on my diet, I’m not losing that much weight anymore but I think I’ve hit the point where it’s getting harder to lose weight.  I did cheat one night but I don’t think a small slice of cake would really stop me from losing weight over the course of the next few weeks considering I burned off those calories that night at the gym.  I didn’t hit a brick wall - per say - but I have hit a wall and I need to figure out how to change things up a bit.

I’ve been looking into Gillian McKeith Detox Vegetarian Diet, where for 8 weeks you only eat vegetables and then slowly reintroduce good proteins such as chicken and fish.  I can’t do the fish aspect of things, I have a horrible allergy to it.  But I think the detox would work out pretty well.  I’ll pick up her book eventually, right now I really can’t afford it.  But, I already have a good balance of fruits, vegetables and whole grains as well as fiber in my diet, but her “detox diet” is nothing but all natural organic living.  It’s an idea that I threw Sean’s way but I think he’d only jump on board when it comes time to introduce grilled chicken salad into the mix.  I also don’t have the best of storage in the kitchen to house all of these veggies so I may hold off on it until after Sean and I have our own place.

For now I’ll stick to what I’m doing, I’ll just work out a bit more and introduce a 5th “meal” to my day to jump start my metabolism a little.  I typically have breakfast, a piece of fruit before lunch, a small lunch, another piece of fruit and then dinner.  Maybe if I introduce another slice of fruit into the day (probably as a dessert) I should be able to jump things up a bit more.

Worth a shot, right?

I’ve been slacking off on my exercise but there is valid reason for it. My sciatica has been acting up pretty badly. For the past few days I’ve had trouble moving around and today was kind of my boiling point. I woke up pretty early this morning and by the time I got back home from a quick trip to the store and a walk on the beach I was not only mentally exhausted but physically as well. This lead to me laying down in bed to just relax for a little while. Unfortunately I was unable to get back up after that happened and it scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t roll either left or right and the fact that I had to pee wasn’t helping me very much either.

I wound up falling asleep for a few hours and when I woke up I managed to very slowly roll myself to one side of the bed so I could get up. With the way my bedroom is there’s really no room to get out of the left side of the bed so you either have to scoot down (when Sean’s asleep) or roll to the right side and keep on rolling until you can easily stand. It’s a very bad place for a bed but instead of having the larger room as the bedroom we’re using it as an office. It makes for an annoying time but considering the room is only there to sleep in, we’re making due for as long as we have to.

I haven’t been feeling well on top of this, my stomach has been bothering me lately and I can tell that a cold is coming on just with how sluggish I’ve been lately. However, I’m unsure of the cause of the lack of energy. My diet is the same but I think since I’m not burning off the calories the way I was up until these past few days is taking it’s toll on me.

In other news, since I have been able to really get up and go the way I’ve wanted to, I’ve been playing around in Photoshop and I hope to have a new template here sometime soon. I should have done something for January 1st, but I figure better late then never. I’m going with pretty tones and maybe throwing some stock images into it. I do also have a few themes that I’m hoping to put up in the “Templates” section as soon as possible. I’m not sure exactly WHEN that’s going to happen but I’m certainly working on it.

I just got back from the gym a little while ago, I have to say that even after sitting here for a half hour I’m still amped up and ready to take on the world. I wish they didn’t take so long to get the club house setup in the complex. Now they’re considering using the area that was dug out for the pool as a skate ramp but I’m sure they were just joking about it. It’s obvious that the main office is just as frustrated as the tenants are. The company they’re working with has been screwing over the complex left and right and to a point now where it’s just plain annoying. Hopefully this summer we’ll actually have a pool to swim around in and maybe my confidence level will have come back as well.

There isn’t much in the gym. Honestly, with the way they were talking it up you’d assume it’d be a bit more interesting but unfortunately that’s just not the case. There’s a treadmill, a bike and an “all in one” kind of weight machine. It’s also in a pretty cramped room as well. You’re kind of thrown into a very small area and someone who doesn’t take too kindly to small places would more than likely spend their time walking around the complex to get their work out…or just register at the Gold’s Gym kind of place right outside of the complex…you know? Why should we have to spend money to work out when we were told we were getting some extravagant place to do it in for free? :hmm:

It’s been a while since I posted here, mainly because the rush of the Holiday Season had my full attention.  It’s now January 1st and it’s been almost one month since I’ve last said anything here about weight loss, dieting, and life in general.  This doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy!

My resolutions are the pretty common ones.  I’m continuing with my diet, stepping it up a notch by going onto an actual plan.  I’m unsure if I’m going to take the route of Weight Watchers or the Micheal Thurmond Six Week Body Makeover, but I do fully intend to take the bull by the horns and get myself onto a set program for even better results.  I’m now 50 pounds lighter than when I started my diet, which was no easy task in six months but I’ve accomplished every one of my goals through dicipline and a complete lifestyle change.

The only thing I haven’t changed is my smoking habit.  I’ve been a pack-a-day smoker for quite some time now and I honestly can not handle it anymore.  I run slower because I can’t catch my breath, no matter how many showers I happen to take during the day I still reek of smoke because it’s the first thing I do when I step outside, even if it’s just to dump the garbage.  I purchased ‘Quit smoking the easy way’ a book that has been around for 20 years and I’m confident that if I follow the methods I’ll not only be thin thanks to my diet, but a non-smoker.

Another resolution added to my list is school.  I’ve decided to go to DeVry.  Sean is helping me with the financial aid forms so that I can insure full financial aid.  I’m under the age of 25 and I’m no longer living with my father.  The only job on the books that I have at the moment is paid blogging and other odd-and-end jobs here and there that I work on the side, so figure I’m only making about $12,000 a year.  That’s no where near enough money to fund school and living - so hopefully I’ll get the financial help.  I’ve been paying taxes for years, the least the government can do is give me something back for it - you know?

The day after Christmas I headed down to the DMV, I’m officially a Delaware resident and almost as soon as I get my license down here Sean wants to move up to New Jersey because it’s the half-way point between our families.  I’m not sure of how much I like the idea but I’m sure we’ll talk about it a bit more over time anyway.

I’m currently up in New York for the holidays.  We came up here on the 29th and I think we’re going to extend our stay for a few extra days.  Originally I was only coming up until Friday but I’m hoping to at least finish out the weekend and leave on Monday.  Sean doesn’t seem to mind so I guess that’s all that matters.